At the basis of nearly every recommendation our coaches make is self-confidence. It’s so important I talk about it in every book and mention it in nearly every conversation. Why is this?

Self-confidence plays a major role in your behavior and communication style.

When we talk about being more assertive, we start with building your confidence. Only people who are confident are able to stand up for their opinions and values while simultaneously welcoming thoughts from others. That is the secure foundation upon which a transformative leader is created.

What Is Self-Confidence?

Simply stated, self-confidence is the belief you have in yourself and your skill and abilities. It’s not so much about your worth (that’s self-esteem) and more about your performance. Self-confidence is also not about self-importance.

Many factors influence how you feel about your abilities, including:

• Prior experience and performance
• Experience of others
• Social association
• Social encouragement
• Self-encouragement

The Benefits of Self-Confidence

Many of the characteristics you admire in effective leaders are byproducts of their self-confidence. They probably display less fear and anxiety than their peers and bounce back from hardships more quickly. They’re motivated to live life to the fullest (whatever that means for them) and manage stress well. Believing in your abilities leads to more fulfilling relationships and ladders up to a greater sense of self. Self-confident leaders are able to yield greater influence and, therefore, leadership potential. And, of course, self-confident people are generally deemed more sexually attractive.

8 Exercises to Become Self-Confident

While it may seem self-confidence is something people are just born with, it is actually a skill. You can learn to become more self-confident. In fact, our coaches work diligently with you to do just this!

Here are 8 exercises to build your self-confidence:

1. Encourage positive self-talk: Are you aware that you have an inner critic — the voice inside your head that speaks to you negatively. Everyone has one.
   
   Your mind cannot distinguish between self-talk and reality. If you’re constantly second-guessing or berating your decisions, eventually your self-confidence suffers.
   
   Instead, let’s work to create a positive internal dialogue. Set aside some quiet time to talk to yourself in positive ways. Be encouraging, compassionate, and kind.
   
   
2. Visualize positive outcomes: Most of us are pretty skilled at imagining worst case scenarios. Intentionally flipping that switch can help improve the chances of reality turning out better.
   
   This is especially powerful when you have situations you’re afraid of. Sit down, be still, and imagine what you’ll say. Visualize yourself sitting (or standing) up straight. How do you act when you’re confident?
   
   Your imagination is powerful and influences reality.
   
   
3. Take more risks: When you take a risk and succeed, your self-confidence grows. Stepping out of your comfort zone expands your risk tolerance.
   
   Certainly there will be times you fail — expect and welcome it! New challenges bring about new processes, and you’ll naturally place your focus on the journey rather than the outcome.
   
   And don’t discount small successes.
   
   
4. Know thyself: Along with self-confidence, we talk a lot about self-awareness. Self-awareness is a core component of self-confidence. The more you’re aware of your abilities and talents, the more your confidence in your abilities you’ll have.
   
   Knowing your weaknesses is essential if we’re to improve upon them. That journey, too, encourages self-confidence.
   
   
5. Create a positive social circle: The people you surround yourself with matter. Others who lack self-esteem or self-confidence often look to bring others down. This will not serve you.
   
   Even family members, who you may be forced to see on occasion, are sometimes not positive or reaffirming. We encourage you to limit your exposure to anyone who doesn’t treat you with respect.
   
   
6. Increase your skill level: Mastering a skill does wonders for your self-confidence. Now that you know what self-confidence means, you can see why.
   
   The activity, skill, or talent doesn’t have to be a professional one, either. In fact, being well-rounded and having hobbies about which you are passionate can be a gamechanger in the self-confidence department.
   
   Whatever you do, practice more, spend more time with it, take a class, whatever will increase your competency.
   
   
7. Change your body image: This exercise can feel overwhelming, so let’s break it down. Actions can be as simple as changing your grooming habits, buying a new outfit or piece of jewelry — or simply taking a shower. Start where you’re at without judgment.
   
   It can certainly be picking up an exercise routine. Again, start small. Take a walk around the block. Go for a one-minute jog. Join a gym and work with a trainer. There are many options, small and great, to take and often just taking an action is a self-confidence boost.
   
   
8. Walk and sit straight: Have you heard the phrase, “bring the body, and the mind will follow?” Sit up, shoulders back, and take a deep breath. When you walk, hold your head up high.

Nothing else you do will matter if you don’t sit up tall, figurately and literally.

While these 8 exercises are a great start, please know that increasing your self-confidence is a lifelong journey. And it should be! If we’re trying something new, we’re continuing to flex our abilities. The key is to remember that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to go on your journey alone. We are here for you.